Do you walk around fearing that somebody will see the real you and you will be rejected or shunned? Are you always on guard, looking for threats? Do you feel like you have a heavy, dark weight inside of you that leaves you drained even when completing simple activities?
What are other concerns that you have? Do you have “unreasonable” mood swings when you become deeply depressed, highly agitated, or quickly angry? Are you hopeless that things will ever get better? Do you think about hurting yourself? Are there situations from your life that make you feel agitated when you think back to them? Are there periods of your life when you have few memories? These are some of the symptoms of Trauma. They can leave us feeling isolated and desperate.
As you read this, if you say yes to some of the questions, do you assume you are to blame? Have you been told that you have anxiety and/or depression, but treatment hasn’t made them better? Does this leave you feeling broken? Do you feel even worse because you want to gain control over how you react to situations, but you can’t? Notice as you read this, has your breathing changed?
If some of these questions sound familiar, you could be experiencing Trauma, a long-term reaction to an experience (or experiences) that was overwhelming to you when it happened, that continues to overwhelm you, and that you aren’t recovering from. It can be brutal. It’s also normal; it’s a natural response people have when faced with a situation that is beyond their capabilities and that scares them. Though time doesn’t heal these wounds, treatment can help.
For some of us, we are clear about what happened that resulted in our wounding, our Trauma. You might have even done a lot of work on it and don’t understand why it still haunts you. For others, the symptoms may seem to have existed for your whole life, and you don’t know why they are there. There isn’t one way to become traumatized or even a way that makes the most sense. It’s unique to the individual and results in its own wounding. Regardless, though time doesn’t heal Trauma, treatment can. My clients notice that they become calmer, able to discriminate between when they need to act and when they first need to shift away from reacting and to reconnect to themselves. They talk about becoming confident and learning to trust themselves. Rather than having plans they won’t fulfill, they become intentional and feel powerful. Ultimately, through our work, clients have a better understanding of how their wounding impacted them; they resolve the pain and feel better equipped to embrace the things they like and to face the things that they don’t like.
As Trauma is the result of an overwhelming experience with a significant amount of fear and disconnection, there are several challenges in treating it. The nature of Trauma is such that even thinking about the incidents can bring you back into the fear and disconnection, reinforcing them rather than healing them. Additionally, it can be hard to access and process traumatic memories and challenging to sort out the complex nature of trauma symptoms. So, treatment has to be applied carefully, prioritizing safety while supporting the resolution of issues. We often think of therapy as a time to talk about problems, figure out why they are happening, and then find other ways to address them. While that is how some therapeutic processes work, with Trauma, other techniques can be more effective. I use two of them: EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, both of which have proven to be highly effective in addressing Trauma. These techniques address non-verbal parts of the brain where trauma wounding is stored. (I describe EMDR more fully on my Therapy Approach page.)
Please call or text me and we can talk more about how I might be able to help.
Suggested Resources:
Reading:
What Happened to You by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
The Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz
Links:
Inspiration for Teachers